you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
