I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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