He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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