It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
