ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
