STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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