so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize