I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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