Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
