I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
