I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
