Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
