What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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