just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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