Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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