Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
