I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
