Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
