Just mADE A PArabola og urine
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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