Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
