This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
