Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
