things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
