apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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