Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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