I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
