going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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