Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
