this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
