apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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