Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
