get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
