He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize