I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
