Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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