Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
