i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
