Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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