3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i would punch a child for taco bell
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
