My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
