Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
