I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
ttyl tear gas
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
