oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
