thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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