Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
