ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
