you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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