so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
