I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
