In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
