I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
