I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
