why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
