i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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