in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
