I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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