i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
