Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
